Portable Folding Hammock

hey i’m looking to buy a banana hammock like the one borat has. my girlfriend said she wants me in one because its sexy. thanks

Only this?

http://s3.amazonaws.com/files.posterous.com/jerrylentz/xJSKl2jaCQwqKLMCvAwEQ8rpqvtsy3ycvPC6Yp8WXr9daVZXWJF7TpXtsPPo/banana-hammock.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJFZAE65UYRT34AOQ&Expires=1311472860&Signature=JkZGn7fJc394l28uEHRE31aMeW0%3D

This is a long story, so skip to the last paragraph if you just want the short version…

I was at the beach with my sister-in-law the other day and we somehow started talking about men and Speeds. She was convinced that men should wear boardshorts ONLY and that speedos are "gay" even on good looking guys.

Firstly, I fail to see how a piece of cloth magically makes a person "gay." I explained that there are far more gay men who wear boardshorts, so does that make boardshorts more gay?

She says "uh… well…" Then she told be, "boardshorts are waaaay more confortable!" I said "Oh really?FINE!" I took off my boardshorts (I wear a speedo underneath mine) and told her to go for a swim in my boardshorts. She agreed and proceeded into the water…

A few minutes later she came back and said, "How the hell do you guys move around in these things? They’re heavy… and they’re clingy!"

HA! I proceded with the "I told you so" speech. I also explained to her that the boardshorts prevent my upper legs from getting a tan. Thus, I get a farmers tan that looks very tacky. She agreed on that point.

She then explained that "Speedo’s look like underwear and that is what makes them gross!"

I replied "The bikini you are wearing right now look just like underwear too! How is that not gross, but the Speedo is?"

She says "Well, no one wants to see your balls all bunched up in a "banana hammock! "Think of the kids!"

I replied "Then put your boobs away ’cause kids shouldn’t be seeing those hanging out of your "mellon slings!"

She stared at me for a moment and said "Just wear your boardshorts and shut up!"

So, ladies and gentleman… I ask you to please explain to me in logical terms why a Speedo is "gross" and "eww" and how they are inappropriate swimwear for the beach. No one can seem to come up with a logical argument against Speedos. Why do girls complain that boardshorts are heavy and uncomfortable when they wear them, but insist that guys wear boardshorts and nothing else? Please explain to me what the big deal is and why there is such a stigma against Speedos.

I start lifeguarding at the beach Saturday, and the bikini they gave me just doesn’t fit my tatas!

Ladies, which do you prefer: Bikini, Onezy, or that freakish onepiece that connects at the belly?

Guys, which do you prefer: Boardshorts or do you rock the banana hammock?
Willows- Yeah my boss is a total perv, he would.
Mister niceguy- Do you really not know that Tatas are the same as t!ts?… and no, pics are only for my boyfriend, sorry!
LOL Phil, that man is my dad!

To start with I am generally a very conservative and heterosexual man. I do not fall into the usual and more often than not incorrect stereotypes of a man who chooses to wear what is commonly called “speedos”. I am NOT an exhibitionist so I do not condone or wear extremely skimpy “banana hammock” type swimsuits. However I do enjoy swimming and moderate sunning at the beach. For swimming this current style called “board shorts” the length of which is at the knee or longer and more like trousers than shorts, are not practical or very comfortable for swimming. When exiting the swimming pool they pull what feels like gallons of water all over the pool deck and when relaxing in between swim sessions they remain soggy and sticky. At the beach these wading trousers are even more uncomfortable and defeat the enjoyment of the sun and ocean breeze, and you can forget getting a healthy looking tan on your legs. For beach sunning I choose to wear a Speedo brand Solar, which is the smallest I will go – but still it is not near as skimpy as the suits some or should say most women wear.
Now I will have to mention before the usual statements are made. I know there are no laws prohibiting “speedos”. If there were women’s swimwear would naturally have to follow suit to be fair, especially since their swimwear shows more of the leg, buttocks and privates than a typical speedo even approaches. So YES, I know can wear whatever I want to the beach or swimming pool. However that is easier said than done considering the half-hidden giggles, wrinkled noses, hairy eyeballs and the punks screaming jeers (in their cowardice they do this when they can’t be identified). So it makes it hard for a man who chooses his own way to enjoy his time peacefully at the beach or while swimming. I’ve tried to compromise in this regard by wearing square-cuts. This does not work. Once I tried to compromise by wearing nylon-tricot jogging shorts popular for wear in the 80’s. For all the good it did I may has well worn a Rio-backed string bikini.
Now here is the kicker. I was eating at a popular restaurant yesterday morning and here comes this guy with a pierced nose, a pierced lip, pierced eyebrows and covered in tattoos. Who knows what else was pierced. I’m sure he was noticed but their were no giggles, snide comments, of ugly faces made of his presence. I guess he was “cool” by todays standards. I know folks who pierce their tongue (which makes me cringe to think about it) and imbed metal studs in their head and for what practical purpose? People cover themselves in grotesque tattoos with images of demons and monsters. These kids walk around in malls, restaurants and other public areas with their “Goth”, “emo” and “gangsta” styles which look absolutely ridiculous and very bizarre, and with not much if any flak. I decide to wear a moderate 3” side “speedo” to the beach or swimming pool for the practical purpose of swimming and I’m a pariah and committing the greatest fashion faux-pas CRIME of all time. What gives?
Just have to add that prior to 1990 brief leg baring swimwear for men, though not common was considered an acceptable form of male swimwear.
Womens bikinis resemble bra and panties (only smaller).
Mens "speedos" resemble brief underwear.
Boxers were not popular prior to 1990 and only became popular because of a myth.

-rips off clothes and is in a banana hammock-
-starts party boying you while you stand there-

<3

Don’t be stupid and say Greece.
I mean which Islands or cities do you recommend.
Kids are going and I know about the nude beaches and the banana hammock stuff.
So keep us away from all that.
By kids I mean teens

My brother in law asked for a banana hammock for hi birthday. I have looked at Pier One and Home Depot, and they don’t carry them, where can i find this special item?

It seems a little silly to me. It’s somehow okay to wear a bikini or banana hammock in one setting, but anywhere else it would be vulgar or trashy or whatever. It’s just a strange dichotomy.
let me further clarify…. decency standards in my opinion are enforced except when it comes to swimwear. People freak about being seen in their underwear, but the swimsuit could be even more revealing, yet somehow it’s okay?

Is it cool to bedazzle my banana hammock or not???

I have 17 wives & I think they would dig it, I’m Mourman & dancing to the Jonass brothers just isn’t enough!

Is bedazzling my banana hammock too over the top?