Portable Folding Hammock » back yard http://portablefoldinghammock.com The Internet's Most Complete Source Of Portable Folding Hammock Advice, Reviews & Best Prices Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:28:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 en hourly 1 How should i end this short story? http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-4/ http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-4/#comments Mon, 22 Aug 2011 14:50:23 +0000 admin http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-4/ I was lying in the hammock enjoying the sun on my face when i heard the front gate open. I looked up and saw a man standing there crazily staring at me, his face looked as if it were. My breathing got hard. I tried to twist out of the hammock but my foot was stuck. Moving hard my foot was finally free. Screaming I started to sprint. It seamed like an eternity before I finally stopped running and looked behind me. He wasn’t there. I was terrified to go back to my house so I went to my friend’s house, which was only about a mile away. As I was getting closer to my friends house my thoughts drifted back to the man who was in my back yard. Who was he? What was he doing at my house? All these thought scrambled through my mind. Not being able to think strait, I started to jog towards my friend’s house. I decided to go inside and tell them about what happened and then call my parents and tell them where I am… My parents! What would happen if the crazy man got to them? Now out of breath I ran into the house without knocking. “Hello?!” I said as I ran around the house searching for anyone. No one was on the first floor. I ran upstairs and of course, no one was there. Wow. I thought to myself. What luck? The first time I have ever come to their house and there not here?
I looked around one more time. This time I saw a shadow move in the living room. “Hello?” I screamed now more scared then before. “Katie? Mrs. Smith?” Why weren’t they answering?

i kno i am a terrible writer =P but can you just give me some critisisim and ideas??
thank you!!
here is more to the story i just added:

I turned my head to face forward and stood, terrified with fear. There he was. Not more then two feet ahead of me. My brain screamed for me to run but my legs felt like boulders, never to leave their position. I began to cry for it was the only thing i could do. He inched closer to me, his head twitched. He came closer and closer and began calling my name. I stood wide-eyed with one thought in my head. I’m going to die.

]]> http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-4/feed/ 1 How should i end this short story? http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story/ http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story/#comments Fri, 29 Apr 2011 02:39:29 +0000 admin http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story/ I was lying in the hammock enjoying the warm pleasant sun on my face when I heard the front gate open. I looked up and saw a man standing there crazily staring at me, his face looked as if it were twitching with expiration. My breathing got hard. I tried to twist out of the hammock but my foot was stuck. After much effort, my foot finally came free. Screaming I started to sprint away from the crazy man, I tripped and got mud on my hands, but that didn’t stop me from running. It seamed like an eternity before I finally stopped running and looked behind me. He wasn’t there. I looked down at my hands. They were blood stained. I didn’t care though. That wasn’t the problem right now. The problem was where should I go? I was terrified to go back to my house for maybe the man was still there, so I decided to run the long mile to my friend Katie’s house, hoping I would be safer there. As I was getting closer to my friends house my thoughts drifted back to the man who was in my back yard. Who was he? What was he doing at my house? All these thoughts scrambled through my mind. Not being able concentrate, I picked up my pace, impatient to get to my friends house and safety. I decided to go inside and tell them about what happened and then call my parents and tell them where I am… my parents! What would happen if the crazy man got to them? I felt sick.
————————————————————————————————————–
When I thought I could run no more, I finally arrived at my friends’ house, exhausted. Not bothering to knock, I banged in and started searching the house for someone. “Hello?!” I said as I ran around the house searching for anyone, anywhere. No one was on the first floor. I told myself they were all just asleep, after all, its only 8:00 AM. I ran upstairs to see if my thought was real. They weren’t. Nobody was home. What should I do?? I thought to myself. Now I was beginning to cry. I felt vulnerable and weak as I stood there crying. I’m regularly known as the tough girl in our neighborhood. Now, I couldn’t hold it back. I wiped the tears off my face, smearing dirt on my cheeks. This was no time to cry.
I looked around one more time. This time I saw a shadow move in the living room. “Hello?” I hollered as I was running down the creaky stairs. Now I was more scared then before. “Katie? Mrs. Smith?” Why weren’t they answering? I looked into the living room and no one was there, although I was sure I saw I shadow. So I resulted to go get the phone to call my parents, they were probably sick with fear as for where I am. I turned to go get the phone. Surprised I stood there, terrified with fear. There he was. Not more then two feet ahead of me. My brain screamed for me to run but my legs felt like boulders, never to leave their position. I began to cry for it was the only thing I could do. He inched closer to me, his head twitched. He came closer and closer and began calling my name.
“Maria, Maria”
I stood wide-eyed with one thought in my head. I’m going to die.

i just need some ideas on how i should end this.. and critisim would be super helpful also!! :)
thxx!
<3

]]> http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story/feed/ 1 how should i end this story?! and criticism needed!!? http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-story-and-criticism-needed/ http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-story-and-criticism-needed/#comments Sat, 23 Apr 2011 14:41:17 +0000 admin http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-story-and-criticism-needed/ I was lying in the hammock enjoying the warm pleasant sun on my face when I heard the front gate open with a creak. I looked up from my book expecting my brother to be standing there but, instead I saw a man with ragged brown hair standing there madly staring at me, his face looked as if it were twitching with expiration. I panicked and screamed. My breathing got harder. I tried to twist out of the hammock but my foot was stuck. I looked over and saw the man slowly getting closer. After much effort, my foot finally came free. Screaming I started to sprint away from the crazy man, I tripped and got mud on my hands, but that didn’t stop me from running I went out of our neighborhood and into the main street. It seamed like an eternity before I finally stopped running and looked behind me. He wasn’t there. I looked down at my hands. They were blood stained. I didn’t care though. That wasn’t the problem right now. The problem was where should I go? I was terrified to go back to my house for maybe the man was still there, so I decided to run the long mile to my friend Katie’s house, hoping I would be safer there. As I was getting closer to my friends house my thoughts drifted back to the man who was in my back yard. Who was he? What was he doing at my house? All these thoughts scrambled through my mind. Not being able concentrate, I picked up my pace, impatient to get to my friends house and safety. I decided to go inside and tell them about what happened and then call my parents and tell them where I am… my parents! What would happen if the crazy man got to them? I felt sick, alone and tired.
When I thought I could run no more, I finally arrived at my friends’ house, exhausted. Not bothering to knock, I banged in and started searching the house for someone. “Hello?!” I said as I ran around the house searching for anyone, anywhere. No one was on the first floor. I told myself they were all just asleep, after all, its only 8:00 AM. I ran upstairs to see if my thought was real. They weren’t. Nobody was home. What should I do? I thought to myself. Now I was beginning to cry. I felt vulnerable and weak as I stood there crying. I’m regularly known as the tough girl in our neighborhood. Now, I couldn’t hold it back. I wiped the tears off my face, smearing blood on my cheeks. This was no time to cry.
I looked around one more time. I looked into the mirror that was in the hallway, my face had smeared blood mixed with mud and tear stains going down my face. My brown hair was in tangles all around my face and my blue eyes seamed to be bluer then usual. I was a mess. Then something caught my eye past the mirror, I saw a shadow move in the living room down stairs. “Hello?” I yelled as I was running down the creaky stairs. Now I was more petrified then before.
“Katie? Mrs. Smith?” Why weren’t they answering? I looked into the living room and no one was there, although I was sure I saw I shadow. So I resulted to go get the phone to call my parents, they were probably sick with fear as for where I am. I turned to go get the phone. Astonished I stood there, terrified with fear. There he was. Not more then two feet ahead of me. My brain screamed for me to run but my legs felt like boulders, never to leave their position. I began to cry for it was the only thing I could do. He inched closer to me, his head twitched. He came closer and closer and began calling my name.
“Blair… Blair.”
I stood wide-eyed with one thought in my head. I am going to die.

criticism needed!! thanks!
<3
i was thinking of kinda making the whole thing kinda a dream but then i decided it would be kind of boring… what ending should i have???
thanks for the awesome answers guys!! :)

]]> http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-story-and-criticism-needed/feed/ 5 How should i end this short story?! and criticism needed!!? http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed-2/ http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed-2/#comments Mon, 18 Apr 2011 02:42:02 +0000 admin http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed-2/ The sun warmed me enjoyably as I read in the hammock. The creak of the front gate warned me of my brother’s return. I looked up from my book expecting my brother to be standing there but instead, I saw a man with ragged brown hair standing there madly staring at me, his face looked as if it were twitching with termination. I panicked and screamed. My breathing got harder. I tried to twist out of the hammock but my foot was stuck. I looked over and saw the man running towards me. After seaming like infinity, my foot finally came free. Screaming I started to sprint away from the crazy man, I tripped and got mud on my hands, but that didn’t stop me from running. I went out of our neighborhood and into the main street. It seemed like an eternity before I finally stopped running and looked behind me. He wasn’t there. I looked down at my hands. They were blood stained. I didn’t care though. That wasn’t the problem right now. The problem was where should I go? I was terrified to go back to my house for maybe the man was still there, so I decided to run the long mile to my friend Katie’s house, hoping I would be safer there. As I was getting closer to my friends house my thoughts drifted back to the man who was in my back yard. Who was he? What was he doing at my house? All these thoughts scrambled through my mind. Not being able concentrate, I picked up my pace, impatient to get to my friends house and safety. I decided to go inside and tell them about what happened and then call my parents and tell them where I am… my parents! What would happen if the crazy man got to them? I felt sick, alone and tired.
When I thought I could run no more, I finally arrived at my friends’ house, exhausted. Not bothering to knock, I banged in and started searching the house for someone. “Hello?!” I said as I ran around the house searching for anyone, anywhere to help me from this crazy man. No one was on the first floor. I told myself they were all just asleep, after all, its only 8:00 AM. I ran upstairs to see if my thought was real. They weren’t. Nobody was home. What should I do? I thought to myself. Now I was beginning to cry. I felt vulnerable and weak as I stood there crying. I’m known as the tough girl in our neighborhood. Now, I couldn’t hold it back. I wiped the tears off my face, smearing blood on my cheeks. This was no time to cry.
I looked around one more time. I looked into the mirror that was in the hallway, my face had smeared blood mixed with mud and tear stains going down my face. My brown hair was in tangles all around my face. I felt hysteric with fear. Then something caught my eye past the mirror, I saw a something move in the living room down stairs. “Hello?” I yelled as I was running down the stairs. Now I was more petrified then before.
“Katie? Mrs. Smith?” Why weren’t they answering? I looked into the living room and no one was there, although I was sure I saw I shadow. Petrified I decided to go get the phone to call 911. I turned to go get the phone. Astonished I stood there, terrified. There he was. Not more then two feet ahead of me. My brain screamed for me to run but my legs felt like boulders, never to leave their position. I began to cry for it was the only thing I could do. He inched closer to me, his head twitched. He came closer and closer and began calling my name.
I stood wide-eyed with one thought in my head. I am going to die if I don’t get out of here.

plzz give me lots of criticism!!
thanks!!
<3

]]> http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed-2/feed/ 3 How should i end this short story? and criticism needed!!? http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed/ http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed/#comments Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:42:54 +0000 admin http://portablefoldinghammock.com/hammock-q-and-a/how-should-i-end-this-short-story-and-criticism-needed/ The sun warmed me enjoyably as I read in the hammock. The creak of the front gate warned me of my brother’s return. I looked up from my book expecting my brother to be standing there smiling his crooked smile, but instead, I saw a man with ragged brown hair standing there madly staring at me, his face looked as if it were twitching with annihilation. I panicked and screamed hoping someone would hear me. My breathing got harder. I tried to twist out of the hammock but my foot was stuck. I looked over and saw the man running towards me. When the man was, only a few short steps away from me, my foot finally came free. Screaming I started to sprint away from the crazy man, I tripped and got mud on my hands, but I got up and kept on running as hard as I could, determination running me. I went out of our neighborhood and into the main street. It seemed like an eternity before I finally stopped running and looked behind me. He wasn’t there. I looked down at my hands. They were blood stained. I didn’t care though. That wasn’t the problem right now. The problem was where should I go? I was terrified to go back to my house for maybe the man was still there, so I decided to run the long mile to my friend Katie’s house, hoping I would be safer there. As I was getting closer to my friends house my thoughts drifted back to the man who was in my back yard. Who was he? What was he doing at my house? All these thoughts scrambled through my mind. Not being able concentrate, I picked up my pace, impatient to get to my friends house safely. I felt sick, alone and tired.
When I thought I could run no more, I finally arrived at my friends’ house, exhausted. Not bothering to knock, I banged in and started searching the house for someone. “Hello?!” I said as I ran around the house searching for anyone, anywhere to help me from this crazy man. No one was on the first floor. I told myself they were all just asleep, after all, its only 8:00 AM. Nevertheless, my thoughts were doubtful. I ran upstairs to see if they were truly there. They weren’t. Nobody was home. What should I do? I thought to myself. Now I was beginning to cry. I felt vulnerable and weak as I stood there crying. I’m known as the tough girl in our neighborhood. Now, I couldn’t hold it back. I wiped the tears off my face, smearing blood on my cheeks. This was no time to cry.
I looked around one more time not knowing what I was hoping t see. I looked into the mirror that was in the hallway, my face had smeared blood mixed with mud and tear stains going down my face. My brown hair was in tangles all around my face. I felt hysteric. Then something caught my eye past the mirror, I saw a something move in the living room down stairs. “Hello?” I yelled as I was running down the stairs. Now I was more petrified then before.
“Katie? Mrs. Smith?” Why weren’t they answering? I looked into the living room and no one was there, although I was sure I saw I shadow. Petrified I ran to go get the phone to call 911 I should have done that in the beginning. I turned to go get the phone. Astonished I stood there, terrified. There he was. Not more then two feet ahead of me. My brain screamed for me to run but my legs felt like boulders, never to leave their place. I began to cry for it was the only thing I could do. He inched closer to me, his head twitched. He came closer and closer and began calling my name.
I stood wide-eyed with one thought in my head. I am going to die if I don’t get out of here. I inched away from him, looked out of the corner of my eye, and saw a far away vase. Maybe I could reach it if I just got a little bit closer… Then once I get it, I can somehow hit him with it. She inched towards it trying to look like she was just scared and not plotting an evil plan in her head. Just grab it and do it! She told herself when only inches away from it. Every step she took the man took one to. He looked crazed and he had mud all over his face. Blair counted to herself. One… two…
The man inched even closer and began to put it hands out in front of him as if he was going to grab her. Three! Blair grabbed the vase and smashed it over his head in one quick movement. He looked bewildered as he fell to the floor. Before the man even fell to the floor, Blair ran to out of the house as fast as she possibly could. “I need to get to a phone!” She yelled over the traffic. People looked at her as if she was crazy. She still probably had mud and blood on her face. Someone stopped and asked what was wrong. “Please! I need your phone to call the police!” She yelled. Her voice was getting raspy and her throat hurt. People began to pull over. Good Blair thought now if the man comes back she would have witnesses. Someone thrusted a phone into her hand and she dialed 911.
The police were there in less then five minuets and were at Katie’s house already. They were asking all types of questions and some things she couldn’t even answer. Once the questioning was over, she finally cal

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