Home > Hammock Q and A > what do you think of this rap verse i wrote?

what do you think of this rap verse i wrote?

i wake up early
tryna enlighten myself become worldly
stand tall and sturdy
travel around with me
start in north america land of the free
breathe the fresh air like its 1933
travel around until i hit jamaica
smoke tree all day become an illiminata
lose negativity dont be a hata
playa
now on my way over the atlantic
to europe leave the beach and the hammock
im frantic in the plain
cant wait see land thinkin in vein
hit up amsterdam from paris by train
now i gotta rearrange
my plans cuz i stayed to long in amsterdam
but ima fan now travelin to ireland
land of my fam.ily
drink a litle beer now mentally incapable of sittin quietly
got me buzz happy
strangely
and consequently
wake up with a hangover
now on my way back over the sea
to italy
where the beautiful ladies got me dreamin about the possibilities
tho equivocaly because its unlikely
but then its strikes me lightly
yet with force
im never gonna get nowhere bein unsure
written to this dope beat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_uoDxUdXGM
1633…cmon man it hardly matters…damn

  1. thebrownsrock57
    April 3rd, 2010 at 13:18 | #1

    1933, the time of the Great Depression in North America and the freedom to output as much air pollution as you wanted.

    Mmmmmm thats good air

    I’d change that if your going to say "fresh air"

  2. DJ durrty uncle A C
    April 3rd, 2010 at 13:18 | #2

    Average average average 4/10

    sorry cuz But its bland

    rate mine, i’ll show you how its done
    http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlpBcAVUHmOfKJujCCnpjHHWGxh.;_ylv=3?qid=20090429014803AAYTpRx

  3. Sack
    April 3rd, 2010 at 13:18 | #3

    read your lyrics then listen to a real rap song.
    you may want to shoot yourself in the face

  4. unknowedman
    April 3rd, 2010 at 13:18 | #4

    ^ haterz everywhere!

    man this is good i like the
    choice of words and ya
    know sounds smoovee.

    forget all these haters man.
    this is some good stuff.

    keep it coming. cuz this
    sound like somethin a
    mainstream rapper be sayin.

    so yeah it’s good.

  5. .
    April 3rd, 2010 at 13:18 | #5

    not good;

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