Gaining my Stepmoms trust back?
Ok, i asked this question in the Family section, but i was wondering about some thoughts from the parenting section as well..
I am 16 and in august of this year my family and my bf family went on vacation. (our parents have been friends for a long time) well, my bf and i went to the beach and got in a hammock, me on bottom and him on top. pretty soon he had my swimsuit bottoms pushed to the side, and his slid down. Not long after we were having sex. well, my stepmom came down to the beach and was looking for us. she found us and realized what we were doing. she didn’t say anything there, but when we got to the hotel room where my bf’s mom was, they both started yelling at us. then my stepmom took me to her hotel room, and spanked me. (it wasnt the first time that we had had sex) she grounded me, & still barely lets me do anything. She doesnt trust me anymore, and i want her to. we were really close until this, i mean, we still are, but not like we used to be.
is she ever going to trust me again? she found out after we got back home that it hadn’t been the first time that my bf and i had been together, and that made her even madder, but i am afraid to talk to her about it. i know that she loves me, and i love her, but i have disappointed her and dont know what to do about it
we didnt use protection, i mean we were on the beach and it just kinda happened. as for her ‘tanning my hide’ as she calls it, she said if i was going to act like a child then i would be punished like one, which i dont understand cause, what child is gonna have sex on the beach? I mean i truly dont understand that one.
HI, I’m a mom with four of kids and a stepson so I don’t how useful my answer might be to you. Well, actually it’s more advise rather than an answer. I know how hard it is for a parent to except the fact that our kids are having sex. Here’s why it’s so hard, because we’ve been there. Really I was 15 when my mom caught me having sex. I still remember the disappointment in her face the hurt and the worry. Now that I’m a mom and my kids are having sex, I feel the same worry. I really don’t
want a bad decision to ruin their plans and their long term goals. My biggets worry is a teenpregnancy that would really put a damper on their lives. For you my friend I have another question, did you use protection? It really easy to get caught in the heat of the moment and just do it. Let your mom know that you are aware of her worries for you and from now try to make better decisions for yourself. Oh, and this bf of yours if he was trully a bf he wouldn’t put you in these situations by tempting and teasing you into them.
Personally at 16 years old , spanking would have been out of the question. You guys really need to talk about protection and control. what about your dad did you talk to him about it? to me your step mom sounds a little selfish she needs to step it up and be an adult about it she probably was doing the same thing at 16.
I’m sure it is hard for her to face the reality that 16 year old girls have sex.
She should have the long talk about safety and condoms and put you on birth control right away.
Since she isn’t mature enough to handle it then you should go to planned parenthood on your own and get some birth control.
It is hard for adults to realize their little kids are almost all grown up.
talk to her reasonably. tell her that you feel ready to be sexually active. make sure she knows you are being safe (hopefully you are) and explain what you are doing to be safe. getting defensive/ mad will only escalate the problem. try to reason with her. she will not be happy about it but if she feels that you honest and safe then maybe she will accept it. no parent wants to know that their baby is having sex. if shes spanking you at 16 then she probably hasnt accepted you arent a little girl in pigtails anymore so be prepared for her to fight about it. just explain your reasoning and leave her too cool down and think about it. being mature in your approach will make it easier for her to see your way
The only way to get back trust is to tell the truth and come to an understanding with her. You are a sexually active female and are likely to stay that way. Once you have been sexualised you are no longer innocent and unaware.
Talk to your step mom and apologise for behaving irresponsibly by having sex on the beach in public. Explain you are sexually a woman and using contraceptives (make sure you are) , you realise it was wrong to put on a public display and in future you will ensure you are more discreet. Then make sure you are. If you all know where you stand there can b no mistruct or understanding.
Your parents were upset because they are worried you will becone pregnant and spoil wjat should be a promising future. They love you and only want the best for you. Likewise your bfs parents for him.
Honey, what were you doing having sex on the beach for all to see?? This could of been avoided if you hadn’t did the deed on the beach. Now as your step mom goes……..she’s going to be mad for a while and you have to give her that space. She has every right to be upset. If my daughter did that, I would be in denial for a long time. But if it bothers you that she doesn’t trust you the only thing to put a end to your little feud is sit your step mom down and talk to her. Letting her know your feelings would help her rationalize everything. Try talking without any arguing or fighting it will help out. I think your too young to be having sex that’s my opinion but since you are……always use protection and if you haven’t already get on the pill. Good luck !!
are u using protection?
if ur not using a condom EVERY time and on the pill
u need to make an appointment with a doctor and get on it right away
ur step mom will calm down
i would ask about getting to a doctor though