Am I, Perhaps, A Little Bit Wicked? Or Is Payback Just A *****?
We have some neighbors whose back yard is kitty-corner to our own. Their back door is slightly more than 60 feet from our back porch, but when I smoke in the back yard, they make a tremendous and obnoxious show of being annoyed with me. They pretty much shout at each other so I am sure to hear, and they complain as if I were smoking a stogie in their kitchen. They slam windows and doors, but then step outside to complain loudly to one another. I once asked the neighbor next door to us if the smoke bothers them (their yard backs directly on the obnoxious neighbors), and they told me it dissipates so much by the time it reaches their back yard (which is closer than the other people’s back door) that they never even notice it.
Recently, the grumps got a hammock on a stand and placed it outside their back door on the little concrete patio. Several times recently, I have waited until one of them is comfortably settled in the hammock with a book and a drink, and then gone out and smoked, making sure my smoke drifts their way. Sometimes I have to move around a lot to find the right air current to carry the smoke to them. I quite enjoy doing this, though I don’t do it all the time.
Does my enjoyment of their annoyance make me a bit wicked?
Also, would it be better, perhaps, to go get the big shisha (water pipe) and set that up on the porch? There’s more smell, naturally, but it smells delightfully of apricots…
Thank you for your thoughts and comments.
I think you are a very good neighbor, and the ones who put on the theatrics about your smoking are the true jerks! I can tell you about some neighbors of mine who used to burn trash in a barrel, and guess where it usually drifted? Right over to our open windows. I complained to them diplomatically several times, and finally they did refrain from burning. Your smoke is aromatic compared to trash, and they should know that they are really being childish to behave in that manor. God bless you.
Lmao. With such prudes, I’d be tempted to go to the hair stylists locally and gather some hair, then buy a few bags of cheap-o Bugler, mix it together in a steel pan and put a propane torch to it!
You want wicked…here is wicked….
Explain to your idiotic neighbors that while they might not be aware of the harmful nature of inhaling second hand smoke, as a smoker you are concerned and have taken precautions to "safeguard" the neighborhood. By that you mean that you have installed a fire/smoking alarm at the edge of your property. Whenever, the "smoke density" becomes too high and endangers others, the alarm will sound and you will take the appropriate action.
Of course, you want to set the alarm to go off every twenty minutes and the appropriate action you take is to attempt to fix the obviously defective alarm. OF course, while attempting to fix it, you will be smoking.